“We caught your hints mommy” my seven year old beamed as she placed the gift bag in front of me on the floor and they all surrounded me in anticipation. “Open it.”
Smiling I hoped they had picked up my not-so-subtle hints about getting some nice black ink gel pens, stationary or planner refills for Christmas. I had really hinted big time for the pens. After all I had left my list on the refrigerator. I especially hated running out of “my” pens. It seemed everyone always used “my” pens and I was the one left mcm store borrowing their pens. So more than anything else, I hoped the kids would get me my own writing pens. Black gel pens with comfort grips were particularly nice. I liked them but they were a bit too pricey for me to buy for myself. Funny, if the kids needed gel pens I would buy them but I could never bring myself to spend that much money on myself on something that I did not consider a necessity.
Derek and I had always been very practical since we had kids we had opted not to exchange gifts for ourselves during the holidays. Instead our finances were directed towards getting gifts for the kids and some charitable causes. However, as the kids got older they insisted on getting gifts for us. So, we agreed to receive the gifts as long as they were practical and did not exceed a certain dollar limit. The gel pens were well within the price range for the kids to get them for me. So when Jolene placed the bag in front of me. I prepared myself to look surprised and pondered mcm travel bag where I would hide them so only I could use them.
As I gazed down at the box, it looked rather large for gel pens but our family was known for throwing suspicious family members off the scent of an anticipated gift by wrapping earrings in a shoe box, or stuffing a shirt in a mug. Since the kids seemed overly excited about me opening the gift as did Derek I was sure the pens were in the package. So I opened the gift and inside the box was a big stuffed bunny with a red mcm crossbody bag wool sweater and a school uniform plaid skirt. I dug in the box to see if the pens had somehow fallen under the bunny. No pens. Just the bunny.
Disappointed I said dryly “You got me a bunny…Why?-“Glancing at Derek’s facial expression I could see I had said the wrong thing. Nonverbally he seemed to say you better clean this one up real quick. It was one of those moments of motherhood I’d rather forget. I’m usually pretty good at hiding my disappointment and generally I don’t have unrealistic expectations of the kids. I remember as a kid desperately wanting nothing more than to please my parents and the pain of falling short. Drawing on that reminisce, internally I pulled myself together and within seconds asked more excitedly this time “so, why did you get me a bunny?’